Red Hot Love: The Morningstar Series: Book 5
Red Hot Love – Chapter 11

My body woke up, but I refused to open my eyes.

I don’t want to. I don’t want to be awake, or deal with what’s going to happen when I am. My heart squeezed painfully, and I felt more tears stream down my face. I couldn’t help the small sob that left my lips.

“Azai? Honey are you awake?” That was my mom.

I shook my head.

Mom sighed. “Honey, I am so sorry.” She said.

My eyes popped open. I’m in my bed on my back, staring at my ceiling with blurry vision. Another sob tore from me. I don’t feel the same pain, but it’s still there. Still hovering just beneath the surface, ready to break free at any moment. I reached up, and put my hand over my heart.

“It hurts.” I whispered out.

“I know honey. It’s going to.. All I could do was ease your pain some.” Mom told me softly.

She sounds pained. I imgaine seeing her son in this position would do that to her. Mom and I have always been close. I couldn’t even look at her. Tears streamed down the sides of my face. I took in a sharp and shaky breath.

“Th-they d-didn’t-t e-even s-s-s-s-say g-go-good b-bye.” I stuttered out through my sobs.

“Oh honey.” Mom said.

She crawled into my bed, and hugged my head to her chest. I rolled over, and clung to her as the sobs tore through me.

“Sweetheart, I am so sorry. We didn’t know that they didn’t tell you.” She said but that only made my tears worse.

They didn’t just leave me, they ran away from me.

“Shhhh, it’s okay baby. It’s okay.” Mom cooed. “I know it hurts right now, but the Moon Goddess paired you three for a reason.” She said.

I pulled away to look at her. “A-am I be-being punished?” I asked her.

Mom cupped my cheeks, and started wiping my tears away.

“No baby, why would you think that you’re being punished?” She asked.

“Be-because I’m a M-Morningstar.” I hiccuped.

Mom shook her head, and she gripped my face tighter.

“You listen to me, and you listen good. Just because you are a Morningstar does not mean you are not worthy of a mate. Do you hear me? You were blessed with two, not punished. Just because you are a demon does not mean you are unworthy. You, my dear boy, are more than deserving of love. It’s no wonder why you got two mates.” She told me with a small smile.

“Then why did they leave me?” I asked in a whisper.

Mom sighed, and a pained look settled in her light green eyes.

“I don’t know honey. I think they were just a bit freaked out, but I don’t think they knew it would cause you pain. Not like this anyways.” She said.

I finally stopped sobbing, but tears are still coming.

“I feel so hollow without them.” I said.

Mom nodded. “I know honey.”

I frowned as a surge of anger shot through me.

“How would you know? You have a mate.”

Mom sighed. “Your dad wasn’t always the best mate. He hid that he was my mate from me for over two years. And then he left me again after I marked him, for a year.” She told me.

“He did?” I asked surprised.

Dad is completely head over heels for Mom. They never spend any time apart, like ever. I would have never guessed he ever left her or hid anything from her.

Mom nodded. “He was a real a*****e.” She said with a small laugh.

I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “What did you do?” I asked her.

“Well, I never gave up.” She told me. “No matter how hard it was, and how mean your dad was to me… I never gave up. It was hard, but it was worth it.” She said.

I thought about what she said. I can do that. I can never give up on them. But… How? Where do I even start?

“I don’t know what to do.” I admitted softly.

Mom gave me a small smile.

“All you can do right now, is wait for them to come to the school. You have to be patient.” She told me.

“I… How? How am I supposed to wait that long?” I asked her.

Mom sighed. “It’s going to be hard Azai, but we are always here for you. I had to lean on my siblings a lot when your father was putting me through everything. You have us, always. I know we aren’t your mates, but we can help you still.” She told me.

I nodded even though it didn’t make me feel better. Lean on my family? I love them and all, but how are they supposed to help me with this? My mates ran away from me like they couldn’t wait to get away from me.

Everything that I told Ozzy.. I thought he at least would have woken me up. Guess that was just wishful thinking.

I should have never fell asleep. If I stayed awake, then I would have at least got to see them off. Maybe I could have talked to Olive more about accepting me. Ozzy seemed like he would be on board as long as Olive was.

Or maybe he was just being nice before they planned to reject me?

My heart sank even further at the thought. Did they really not want me at all? They have had each other their entire lives, and then here I come out of no where. I squeezed my eyes shut.

“This is so f****d up.” I whispered.

“I know baby.” Mom said.

I opened my eyes, and looked at her.

“Did they make it home safe at least?” I asked.

Mom offered me a small smile, and nodded.

“Atiana called their parents after we got you home. They are very sorry for their childrens actions, and yes they made it safe and sound.” She told me.

I swallowed hard, and nodded. “Can I go see them?” I asked hopeful.

Mom averted her eyes, and stood up from my bed.

“I am very sorry Azai, but no.” I opened my mouth to argue but she held a hand up stopping me. “You are only 16 Azai. I know this just happened and it’s horrible, but your mate’s parents think it’s best to give them time.” She told me gently.

My face fell. They don’t want to see me. Tia called to ask them why they left me the way they did, and they didn’t want to see me.

Do they even care?

I flung my blanket off of me, and walked to my bathroom. Everything feels numb. There is no more light in my life now.

“Azai, honey, I-“

“When are we going to Grandpa’s?” I interrupted her.

Mom sighed. “You’ve been asleep for three days, so, whenever you are feeling up for it. The rest of us are ready.” She told me.

I nodded. “What time is it?” I asked.

Mom pulled her phone out of her back pocket.

“1:04 a.m.” She told me.

“I’ll be ready in the morning.” I told her, and then walked into my bathroom.

“Azai, if you need to talk I am always here for you honey.” Mom said.

I nodded to her. “Thanks.” I said, and then shut the door.

I leaned against the closed door, and slid to my butt. Everything hurts. Breathing hurts. I feel like I have no heart. Like someone has ripped it from my body.

Ezra? I called to my wolf.

I haven’t felt him once since I woke. I got no answer. I closed my eyes, and searched for him, but I can’t feel him. I blew out a shaky breath.

Did you leave me too? I asked.

Still no answer.

Tears started to pool in my eyes again. Do I really have to go on feeling this hollow until I see my mates again? Will they even be ready to see me again?

The door to my twins room opened. I lifted my head to see Ares walk in. He shut the door behind him, leaned up against it, and slid to the floor. His long legs stretched out across the floor. Ares didn’t say anything for a while.

“Do you want me to kill them?” He asked after a few minutes.

I narrowed my eyes at him, and sniffled.

“No, I do not want you to kill my mates you f*****g psychopath.” I said incredulously.

Ares gave me a single nod.

“Should we kidnap them then?” He asked.

My eyes went wide. I looked him up and down. Is he being serious? Does he really think that is a good option?

“Are you insane?” I asked him.

Ares shrugged. “I would, if it were my mate.” He told me casually.

I shook my head. “You would kidnap your mate if she ran away from you?” I asked.

Ares nodded in response.

“You don’t even want a mate.” I said.

“I never said I didn’t want a mate. Just that I didn’t want one right now. I’m only 16, I don’t need to be tied down for the rest of my life before it’s even begun.” He said.

I shook my head again. “You just want to tie other people down, and get your d**k wet while you can. I get it.” I said.

Ares and I were quiet after that. I’m just trying to focus on breathing. I don’t even understand why he is still in here. Out of all people, Ares is not the one to try and understand what I’m going through.

“I thought about waiting for my mate.” Ares said breaking the silence. “I mean, I still am. I’m holding my heart for her. I just know what I like, and know that I would have to learn how to be a good partner. One thing lead to another and-“

“What is your point to all of this? I don’t care if you wait for your mate or not. I didn’t wait for mine.” I said.

Ares blew out a breath. “I just want to distract you from the pain.” He said softly.

I shook my head.

“By telling me that you’re still a virgin who likes to tie little helpless creautres to your bed?” I asked snarkily.

Ares shrugged. “Would it make you feel better to tell me about them?” He asked.

I looked down at my hands in my lap. Would that make me feel better? It’s not like I’ll ever stop thinking about them anyways.

“I don’t even know much about them.” I said softly.

“What do you know?” Ares asked.

I shrugged as I looked at him.

“They’re 17. They have known each other for their entire lives.” I said. “Both Fury’s. Both increadible. Olive hates me more than Ozzy does. She was very clear that she didn’t want a third mate. I hoped that she would change her mind after getting to know me better but..” I trailed off as tears started to pool in my eyes again. f**k, this hurts so much.

“I think I saw them around. She has dark hair right?” Ares asked.

I nodded. “It’s so long and super thick. It feels like silk.” A small smile fell on my lips as I recalled pushing my fingers through it.

“She fell asleep that night, and snuggled into my chest. I was so terrified to move. Like I would wake her up, and she would start yelling at me for touching her.” I said with a small chuckle.

“But she didn’t?” He asked.

I shook my head. “She slept so peacefully. Her little nose would scrunch up here and there, or she would adjust herself, but she never woke up. Ozzy and I talked for a few hours instead.” I told him.

“What’s he like? Was he shocked to replace himself mated to another man?” Ares asked amused.

I gave a small laugh.

“He was shocked, that was for sure. But it seemed like he wanted to give this a shot. I don’t think he will agree unless Olive does though.” I said, and then looked down to my hands. “He held my hand all night, all by himself. We talked about our lives. He told me that he never even thought about being with a man before.” I said.

“And you told him not to worry cause you are oh so expierenced huh?” Ares asked with a chuckle.

I smirked. “I told him that we didn’t have to do anything he isn’t comfortable with.” I said. “But yeah I did also tell him that. Besides, I like to switch. He could just do me for the rest of our lives for all I care.” I admitted. “I just want to be with them.” I said sadly.

“Does it hurt to not be with them? Now I mean.” My twin asked.

I nodded, and put my hand over my heart.

“A lot. It’s like a piece of me is missing, and every nerve ending is begging me to go replace it. I feel so hollow, but also full of sadness at the same time.” I told him.

“My offer to kidnap them still stands. We could be in and out before anyone notices us.” Ares said.

I rolled my eyes. “And then what? They just stay here, and are totally a okay with me kidnapping them?” I asked. “Ares, they ran away from me. They don’t want to be with me.” I said.

Ares shook his head. “They just need to get to know you more.” He told me.

“Well, I did ask them to see me for our birthday. Maybe I’ll see them then.” I said.

Ares nodded, and got to his feet.

“Well, I still think we should kidnap them, but whatever.” He said. “Look Azai, I’m always here for you. No matter what you want to do, or if you want to just act out, I’m here. I will do anything for you brother.”

His tone was deadly serious, which isn’t abnormal. I was still shocked by his words though. Ares is a grumpy a*****e. He is being so gentle, but firm right now, it’s weird.

“Thanks.” Was all I could manage.

Ares left me in the bathroom after that. I got up, and looked at myself in the mirror. I look f*****g awful. My eyes are puffy and red, just like my nose. I look like I haven’t slept in weeks, even though I slept for days. My hair isn’t as shiny, or curly as it usually is. I look just as lifeless as I feel.

Closing my eyes I gripped the counter, and tried to reach out to Ezra again. Nothing. Where the hell is he? Was the pain of our mates leaving us too much?

That was probably it.

Sighing, I decided to take a shower. Even that did nothing to help. Not sure why I thought it would though. Nothing aside from seeing them would make me feel better.

Even if I could just smell them…

I still didn’t understand why they would leave me like that. Olive was clearly not happy about this mateship, but I thought we were all going to give this a chance. Ozzy had warned me that she would be stubborn but… I didn’t think they would just leave me like this.

If anything, I thought that Ozzy would wake me to say good bye. After I told him how much I had been wanting them my whole life, after I told him about how sad I would get… I thought that he would be the one to talk Olive into waking me.

I wish I could just talk to them. I just want to ask why they left me that way. I needed them to tell me that they didn’t know that I would go through that pain. That they didn’t do this to me on purpose.

A thought hit me. I asked for their numbers. Did Ozzy give me them? I never gave him my phone, but I did leave it out, and he knew that. Maybe he programed them in before they left.

With that thought I rinsed my body quickly. I ran out of the shower so fast that I almost slipped on the tiled floor. My phone is sitting on my bedside table. I picked it up, ignoring all the texts and calls from concerned friends, and went straight to my contacts.

There they are. Both of them. Ozzy gave me both numbers. I smiled as I pulled up the contacts. There’s a message from Ozzy’s number.

I’m really sorry that we left you without saying good bye. Olive is struggling with all of this. I hope you understand.

I wasn’t sure whether to be happy or not. At least Ozzy was sorry, but Olive was clearly ready to leave me the moment she could. Still, he made sure to give me their numbers.

What do I do now? Do I wait a few days? Well, it’s already been a few days. Do I text? Call? Should I tell them that I miss them? Do I play it cool?

If they don’t know the pain that having them away caused me, I don’t want to tell them. Hell, even if they did know I would probably still play it cool. I don’t ever want them to feel bad. Not a day in their lives. I want them to only know love and happiness. Forever.

Still, I need to reach out. I have to. I can’t refrain. So, do I text? No, I need to hear their voices. Do I call them both? No, I should just call Ozzy first. That way if Olive doesn’t want to talk she doesn’t have to, and I don’t have to feel bad over her not anwsering.

Pushing on Ozzy’s contact I brought the phone to my ear and waited. Anxiety was flowing through me making me jump around on my feet. The line rang and rang and rang until finally…..

“Hey this is Ozzy-“

“Ozzy hey!” I answered happily.

“Sorry that I couldn’t answer. Leave a message and I’ll call you back.”

Oh.. He.. didn’t answer..

The line beeped.

I cleared my throat.

“H-hey, uh, it’s me, Azai.” I said lamely with a small laugh. “Uhm, I’m sorry that I didn’t call sooner, it’s… been a busy couple of days.”

Yeah busy sleeping.

“I, uh, hope that the two of you are, uhm, doing good.” I said, and then I swallowed hard.

“Uhm, well, I guess you can call me back when you get this. I’d love to hear from both of you.”

I was going to hang up, I really was, but I couldn’t. I took a deep breath and blew it out.

“Look Ozzy, I’m sorry if I was too forward with you guys, and I’m sorry for being so forward now but… I miss you. Both of you. So much. I know that we don’t really know each other, but.. I..” I blew out another breath, and shook my head.

“Uhm, I hope that you guys are doing good. C-call me when you can. Give Olive a k**s for me.”

Then I hung up. Tears filled my eyes again. How am I supposed to survie this summer without them?