Selling Myself To The Alpha
Chapter 113

Adele POV

It is today. The thought hits me like a ton of bricks and I must fight the urge to hyperventilate.

1 am lying alone in bed on my back, staring at the ceiling as I force myself to breathe. Today is my last day as a warrior for the Clear Moon Pack and my first day as alpha for the Moonstone Pack. I am about to leave everybody and everything familiar to me and face the unknown.

I kick the linen off and get out of bed. I pass the three suitcases I packed and go to the bathroom. That is all I am taking with me - three suitcases and my car. I gave away everything else I owned.

I do not bother with breakfast when I am done in the bathroom. My nerves are too overactive to allow me to eat.

I grab my car keys and determinately walk towards my blue 1965 Mustang.

There is nothing special about this car - except that it was my father's. Dad was a mechanic and as a child, I helped him service and maintain it. I know the car's every inch and scratch as well as how to fix it. And now it is my most valuable possession. I do not care how many luxury cars are waiting for me as future alpha, I am not getting rid of this.

The engine roars without effort as I drive towards the cemetery. It is still early and except for a few birds, I am alone as I walk to my parents' graves.

"Hey, old people," I say cheerily as I take a seat between the headstones. Whenever I wanted to tease them, I called them old people. And they always pretended to be offended.

"I wish you were here," I whisper as I glide my fingers over the cold granite. "I know you would've been proud, but dammit, I wish I could hear it."

For a moment I close my eyes as I envision their laughing faces and I cannot stop the silent tears. It has been five years since they died in a car accident.

"Mom, I need your wisdom," I sniff. "And Dad's reassuring smile. How am I supposed to do this without you? Who's going to reprimand me when I f*vck up? Screw up, sorry Mom. I don't know what to do about Luther. Dad, you would've liked him. He's so much like you. Jovial and carefree with a passion. Well, his passion is for arts, and yours were cars, but passion nonetheless. You would've understood his reluctance better than me. You could've explained it to me."

"This sucks," I sigh as I bury my face in my hands. I sit like that for a moment before I look up again.

"Mom, do you remember when I was nine and I threw that tantrum because you didn't want to buy me a Playstation for Christmas?" I smile sadly at the memory. "You took me to the mall. There was a huge Christmas tree with tags on it. You told me to read it. It was Christmas wishes from orphans asking for everyday things like toothpaste and underwear. I will never forget what you told me. You said, as a child, you have the right to a safe environment, love, food, and care. Everything else is a privilege, including birthday and Christmas presents. You told me to want what I have and not try to have what I want. Then I will be happy.

I did that, Mom. I got a great job and friends. I didn't want more. I wanted what I had. But then came Luther. And now I want what I can't have, and my happiness is shattered."

Silently I shake my head and close my eyes.

"I so need your wisdom right now," I whimper as I pull myself together.

"I'm sorry I'm leaving you here," I stand up. "But I'll visit often, I promise."

I feel empty and broken as I walk away from them.

Luther POV

"I'm coming," I shout irritated as the knocking continues relentlessly.

"For f*vck's sake, Axel," I grunt as I yank the door open. "Are you trying to knock the door out of its frame?"

"Aren't you a ray of sunshine," Axel snorts as he pushes past me without an invitation and takes a seat. "Why aren't you happy and blow-drying your hair?" "Ha, ha, very funny," I grunt as I close the door and walk towards the kitchen. "Beer?"

"Isn't it a little early for that?" Axel frowns.

"Not when you're getting ready for your girlfriend's inauguration," I shout over my shoulder as I take two beers out of the fridge and walk back to him. "Here," I pass him a beer and slump down on the couch.

"What's wrong, Luther?" Axel asks concerningly. "You don't look like a radiant first lady."

"Enough of that s*it," I grunt irritated before taking huge gulps from my beer. "One more joke about me being the first lady and I'll bash this bottle over your head." "Since when are you an egotistical prick?" Ael growls as he glares at me.

"Since last night," I sigh defeatedly and put the bottle down.

"Adele and I had a fight."

"With that attitude, I would fight you too," he snorts. "And Liana would rip your throat out. She really developed a taste for blood."

"Everything is just so f*vcked up," I complain and rub over my face. "One minute we were planning our future and the next I'm storming out the door. She made that first-lady joke and something inside me just snapped." "Seriously?" Axel makes his eyes big at me. "One little joke about your manhood and you throw a tantrum?"

"It's not about the joke, okay?" I glare at him. "Or my m*****d. You know me, I never bought into that macho s*it. I don't care that she's a higher rank than me or that she will be the breadwinner. I do not mind giving up my career here and following her. It's just... do you remember the shitshow when I went against my parents' wishes?" "Vividly," Axel grins.

"Well, for a split second, I was back there," I sit up straight and intertwine my fingers as I rest my elbows on my knees.

"Axel, I was second in line to become Alpha. Thank goddess Connor is born and he's second now. But you know I never wanted that life. You were there when I walked away from it and now ...

"Now you must return to it," Axel nods in understanding.

"Exactly," I sigh. "When Adele told me about this, I thought I could do it. I figured I had outgrown my rebellion or whatever. It was after all ten years ago. But now it seems I didn't. I still have no desire to be part of the alpha family.

Believe me, I want Adele to have everything, including this. I love her and want her to pursue her dreams. I'm just not so sure anymore if I can do it."

"What are you saying, Luther?" Axel frowns as he places his beer down. "Are you going to reject Adele?"

"No," I close my eyes briefly. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl. "I don't want that. I truly love her, Axel. I can't imagine life without her. But I don't know if I can do this.

You know better than anyone else that she needs her mate's support when she's the alpha. I don't want to hold her back, and I know I'm going to sound selfish, but what about me? What if I do this and resent her for it in the future? At what point does it stop being a compromise and turn into a sacrifice?"

"Damned if I know," Axel looks sympathetically at me. "You fought hard for your independence and now you must choose to give it up for your mate. At the same time, Adele worked hard for this, and she must choose to give it up for you. It doesn't matter which way you argue it, if you can't reach a compromise, one of you will have to make a sacrifice or you should go your separate ways."

"You're absolutely of no help," I roll my eyes and lean back.

"That's okay," Axel smirks. "I didn't come he help you; I came to give you this."

He reaches into his pocket and takes out a small velvet bag which he hands over to me.

"It's real if you were wondering," Axel chuckles as I toss the gold and diamond cufflinks - with Clear Moon's crest on it - into my hand. "A token that you'll always be part of us and that you're always welcome to come back."

"Thanks," I say sincerely as I look at him. "This means a lot, Axel, I mean it."

"I must go," Axel stands up. "You're not the only one who still has to blow dry their hair."

"I'll see you tonight," I stand up and follow him to the door.

"Luther," he rests his hand on my shoulder. "Don't overcomplicate this. Just pick the option you want the most."

"Sure," I nod. "It's easy. My mate or my soul."