Grace.

I sat on the beach, feet tucked beneath me while Dylan and Seth surfed. I’d paddled out with them, but I was too rusty to keep up. I might be swimming fit, but I’d lost my surfing fitness. Three waves and I’d been gassed. I’d arrived home to a sea of people wanting to see me. My brothers. My close friends. Luke and his family. The past week I’d been floating from one catch-up to another. It was a nice feeling, feeling like I was back in my right place. I knew my way around. I knew the locals. I hadn’t needed Google Maps once. And nobody asked me to clarify shortened words or Aussie slang. It was all so familiar. It was home. The sky was slowly brightening. Here, the sun didn’t rise over the ocean. But it was still a killer place to ring in the day. The air was already warm. We were in the midst of a heatwave. Last night the temperature hadn’t dipped below twenty-seven-degrees-celsius. The warmth was a shock to my system. While I wasn’t used to Philadelphia’s chill, I’d lost touch with South Australia’s heat. My body temperature was idling somewhere in between. It’d felt that way for a long time, like part of my heart belonged here while the other belonged wherever Levi was. My throat constricted just thinking about him. The flight home had been brutal. Philadelphia to Los Angeles. Los Angeles to Sydney. Sydney to Adelaide. Thirty-six hours. The whole time I’d left my phone on flight mode, distancing myself from reality. Now I was here, the American sim no longer worked. That hadn’t stopped Levi trying to get in touch. He’d reverted to Messenger. There were countless unopened messages, some of which were long paragraphs. I wasn’t ready to look at them yet. I missed him so bloody much. Each night I’d found myself scrolling through my camera roll, leering over pictures of us. Halloween. Thanksgiving. His hockey games. My birthday. We’d packed so many amazing moments into such a small span. I could only imagine what a future camera roll would look like. But I wasn’t sure that future was still an option anymore. Being reverted to a wager was hard to stomach. Even if the bet hadn’t existed, everything would’ve happened the same way. But it had. Because you and me, we’re meant to be, Hughesy. I’d really believed that. Which is why I’d been considering upending my life to stay with him after graduation. But now? I wasn’t so sure. Not because I’d lost faith in what I meant to Levi. I knew he loved me, knew things had been real since we really got to know each other. But he’d lied to me about this. If he’d just been honest, when things had shifted from casual to more, maybe it wouldn’t have stung so much. The sand crunched as Seth and Dylan jogged towards me, surfboards tucked beneath their arms. Even carrying my board down to the beach had been an effort. It was more difficult than I remembered. I was a full kook nowadays. My brothers sat down on either side of me, feet slipping beneath the sand.

“I’ve missed this,” I told them.

The sky had transitioned to look like fairy floss. Pink and orange mingling with the clouds.

“We’re pretty bloody lucky,” Seth said, leaning forward to roll down his wetsuit.

Mine was already rolled down, bunching around my waist. While the morning was warm, the water wasn’t. It’d practically knocked the breath out of me when I first dove under.

“Have you decided what you want to do tomorrow?” Seth asked.

Luke’s family had invited us to Christmas lunch. So had our extended family, as well as the neighbours.

“Can we hang at home, just the three of us?”

Neither of my brothers objected. It was nice that others wanted to make us feel a part of their family. It’d been that way ever since mum and dad died. Friends and extended family reaching out, as if Dylan, Seth and I had no one. But we did. We had each other. We were our own family. That’s all I needed. Especially right now.

“How was dinner with Luke’s family last night?” Dylan asked.

“Good. It was great to see them.”

“Things weren’t awkward with Luke?”

“Not at all.’

Seth arched an eyebrow. “You tell him about Levi?”

“Yeah. We’ve both moved on. He’s been dating a girl from uni for a few months apparently.” I wriggled my toes in the sand. “It’s nice to have that friendship back.”

And I meant it. I’d known Luke my entire life. While he’d been a good boyfriend through high school, he was an even better friend. Our chemistry had never been what Levi and I had. I hadn’t filled my brothers in on the entire shit show happening back at Phil-U. While the distance was generally hard, in moments like these when I wanted to keep the universes separate, it worked out well. I didn’t want them associating Levi with a stupid decision. Instead, I’d explained Levi and I had needed some space, while I figured out what came next. It wasn’t too far from the truth.

“You’re really thinking about staying there?” Seth asked.

“Am. Was. I don’t know. Things are complicated.”

“With Levi?”

“With everything,” I admitted.

It was hard to think about when things had turned to chaos. I knew I didn’t have to go back if I didn’t want to, didn’t have to face my final few months at Phil-U. But I’d committed to an entire year. I owed that to my parents. To the team. To myself. And to Levi. Running off hadn’t been entirely fair. I should’ve heard him out properly, given him a chance to explain. But I’d run knowing I would be back there in a few weeks. I guess that’s not what Levi thought. In the brief snippets of messages I’d seen come through, he thought I’d left for good. He didn’t think he’d ever see me again. It was definitely cruel letting him think that when it wasn’t the truth. But it was also mean to make a bet with another guy about who could hook up with me first. So consider this my first step getting even.

“Staying would mean leaving this behind,” I said.

Dylan nodded. “This, yeah. But not us.”

“FaceTime isn’t the same.”

“Nah,” Seth agreed. “It sucks. But we could come to you.”

I peered at him, eyes wide in a mixture of wonder and confusion. What was he saying?

“Things slow down here in the winter,” he added. “Dyl and I spoke, and we reckon we could take a few months off each year and fly your way, via Hawaii of course so we could get some surfing in.”

My head snapped to Dylan when he started talking.

“And we’re totally down for a white Christmas too. There’s some killer snowboarding in Colorado. Not to mention we both have buddies in Canada we could fly up and see while we’re there.”

Seth bumped my hip with his. “We want to get to know your boyfriend.”

“And watch him play hockey,” Dylan added. “Preferably from a corporate box with complimentary beer.”

My stomach turned to excited knots thinking about that scenario, but I didn’t want to bring them down with the truth. I couldn’t believe they’d thought about it, considered even giving up a part of their life to be with me. Dylan draped his arm over my shoulder.

“We’ve really thought it through. If you move, we’ll come visit each winter. In exchange, you come here over Levi’s off season, and we tee up to meet half-way somewhere else throughout the year.”

“Like Hawaii,” Dylan jested.

I laughed. But to be fair, it was practically the only place you could consider halfway. Well, maybe Fiji too.

‘It’s a lot different there,” I warned them. “Tipping is a pain. And they never include taxes on the bill. And don’t get me started on the weather.”

My brothers laughed, their blue eyes dancing.

“I love you both.”

“We love you too, Gracie,” Seth said, giving me a noogie.

Dylan picked up my phone. “Here. Let’s get a pic to remember this.”

He stretched his arm out, capturing the three of us. We looked so similar. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Similar smiles. Tanned skin. Though mine was pasty in comparison to Dyl and Seth. I needed to lift my game while I was back. Later that night when I couldn’t sleep, too caught up in thoughts, I uploaded the photo to Instagram with the caption home. Not for the place. For the people.

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